A Name
by Kisoku no Yanagi
Summary: A Matthewcentric oneshot about Leila. If you know what I mean.


**A Name**

By Kisoku no Yanagi

My debut into the Fire Emblem fandom, I got the inspiration for this right after replaying Chapter 18 and listening to the FE song Reminiscence. I hope I didn't botch this one up to bad…

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I stand up as the flowers slipped from my hands, falling to be caught by the stone surface of your grave. Sighing, I sit back down, just like I do every day. Don't you remember?

It's been four years, and I still can't let go of you. I never could. Did you know that I was going to ask you to quit after that mission? To stop putting yourself in danger? To keep my heart from breaking? I don't know how many times I tried to tell you before, but I was going to this time.

Heh, I wish you could see Lord Hector now. Taller, and with a full beard and moustache. A moustache! He looks so much like his father. I'm sure you would've loved to see him. And with a daughter! Uther would be proud.

I look at the engraved tablet, a stone sentinel against the death of even your memory. My fingers brush the name on it. Your name. "_Leila…" _I whisper. Just as I do every day. You'd scoff at me if you could, I know it. Laugh, and tell me not to be sad. But I can't help it.

Every day is so empty without you, Leila. I feel so hollow, so broken. Why did you have to take the mission? Why did the Black Fang have to find you?

"She blundered…she made a mistake…" I had said to the little lordlings gathered around your body. But the truth is…I had made a mistake. I had blundered, not you. You could never fail. You were the best! The finest spy that all of Lycia had to offer! And yet…Still, I could not let you go.

I think I always knew that this day would come. It's the fate of all spies, eventually, even if it's natural. But I didn't think it could possibly come like it did, at the eve of finding Marquess Pherae. You should've been there, Leila, sharing the exultant cries, the grief, the mourning…

The funeral. The requiem. The burial. And the prayers. They were the same ones they gave to you, Leila. Oh, to be esteemed among lords, even in death! May you be happy, wherever you are.

I sigh again, and I can feel the familiar warmth, rushing to fill me up and drive out the grief. It always comes sooner or later. I like to think it's you, Leila. I like to believe that it's your soul coming to comfort me. But dreams are just that…dreams.

If only…if only I had asked you sooner. What would have happened? We would have been married, perhaps, and had children, who would run and jump on me, and squeal happily as we hugged them and shared the stories of our exploits. We might've grown old together Leila. We might've shared the same armchair, warming it for the other again and again and again.

Do you remember when we promised that to each other, Leila? That we would grow old together? So that we would never want for companionship? I still hold you to that oath, Leila. Too bad it's broken.

But I could never blame you. There is only one to blame; myself. I know it. But…still…could we have grown old together, Leila? Would you have agreed to give up on your job, and simply be happy with me?

When the bishop proclaimed your name across the castle, and lavished your tomb with flowers and prayers and praises, still, I could tell, it was just a name. Through it all, no one remembered you, the fuchsia-haired spy, the story-teller, the one who could laugh at anything and anyone. They remembered only the fact that you died in service to Ostia, and had brought Eliwood's warband information that had given them a victory.

No one remembered how you would sit in the rain with me, because I had no parents, and how you would share your roll with me, though it was the only one you got that day. No one remembered anything but your name.

I sigh again, and stand up to leave, just as I do everyday. I can almost hear you call out to me, Leila. I can almost feel you grasp my arm, and tug me back. I can almost smell your fragrance, strong and sweet, a fragrance that reeks of **you**.

I turn back once, and gaze longingly at the tomb. I think you would be happy, Leila, if you knew that Eliwood and Lyndis and Hector had won, though it was at the cost of your life, among others. I think you would be glad, that, even in death, you were the one who rallied them, unified the whole group just before we stormed the Dragon's Gate. I know you would.

But no one else does. They know only your name. And as I walk away, one thought lingers with you. Not one that I would've chosen, but a thought, all the same.

_Who cares for only a name? For in the end…it's still only a name._

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Jeez, I feel so depressed now. My first try at a Fire Emblem fic, and my first try at a sad fic. I'm sad too now.**

**Kratos: I sympathize with you. Itachi killed Lloyd, and he was like a son to me…**

**Soujiro: Kratos, Lloyd was your son, wasn't he?**

**Kratos: …Er, yeah, I knew that.**

**Anyways, please review. I know some of you are gonna think its crap, and I don't mind that either. Flames are welcome too, as long as its not something like:**

**Jee this sux plz kll urself cuz u stink**

**See what I mean? Pointless flames. Other than that, any and all forms of criticism are welcome.**


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